Which Characters Would You Want on Your Side in a Bar Fight?

Here’s my pick for the best movie characters to have my back in a bar brawl.

Maximus (Gladiator, 2000)

"You spilled my brewski!"

Gladiator is the story of a husband and father seeking revenge for the death of those he loved. That makes a very dangerous guy. Maximus has nothing to lose and all the skills of a seasoned warrior. He’s deadlier than any of the gladiators he faced in the coliseum, not to mention a tiger. He’s just as comfortable fighting hand-to-hand as with a sword, even against an armed opponent. The attitude. The skills. This guy is a pure badass (who’s not afraid to cry) and not the kind of guy you’d want to upset in a dark bar.

Indiana Jones (Raiders of the Lost Ark, 1981)

Indy is often remembered for the fight on the airplane wing against the bald Nazi. However, the slow paced bar fight in Marion Nepalese tavern proves his wit just as well. He’s outnumbered by Nazis (damn, I hate those guys) and dealing with burning walls of the bar. He’s smart and even though he often bites off more than he can chew, Indiana Jones is the perfect guy to have on your side in a bar brawl, especially if you give him whiskey.

The diplomatic approach to a bar fight...

Dae-su Oh (Oldboy, 2003)

Park Chan-wook’s Korean vengeance tale contains one of the most elaborate fight scenes in cinema. The film’s main character, Dae-su Oh overtakes countless adversaries as he moves down a hallway in one uninterrupted take. He’s not afraid of impossible odds and the knife he takes in the back proves that this guy can take a hit and keep going. If that’s what he’s capable of in the tight confines of a hallway, imagine what he could do in a bar brawl.

Bob Barker (Happy Gilmore, 1996)

"I'm kicking your ass next."

Adam Sandler starts this fight, but Bob Barker certainly finishes it. Not only is Barker an expert at the retail prices of house hold goods, but he’s a fighting machine. And more than likely, those starting a bar fight won’t be too different from your average Adam Sandler character. That makes Barker the perfect weapon against drunken brawlers.

Captain James T. Kirk (Star Trek, 2009)

If the 2009 reboot of Star Trek proved one thing, it’s that J.J. Abrams was the perfect guy to bring out the full potential of the franchise. If it proved two things, however, it’s that bar fights haven’t evolved much by the 23^rd century. A pre-captain Kirk takes on several big, dumb federation cadets in futuristic bar and holds his own. Sure he takes a hit or two and looks a little worse for wear by the time the fight is broken up, but this is the kind of guy that doesn’t believe in the no win scenario and proves it.

Or maybe not...